Vajrasattva

This woman has all the gentleness and compassion of a Buddhist monk as she encourages someone through the process of working through relationship complaints instead of telling the woman to completely dismiss her feelings because somehow she's an asshole for having them in the first place. Fantastic!

"The Work" is a tool anyone can use, is free and available to anyone with Internet access, and it teaches a practice that strengthens habits that we need to relate better to others.

And here's one that teaches us to relate to ourselves better. Imagine being gentle with ourselves! If we are not gentle with ourselves, can we be gentle with anyone else?

A piece on everyday Zen by one of Suzuki Roshi's successors
by Zoketsu Norman Fischer
written in March, 2001

The mission statement of my organization, The Everyday Zen Foundation, says, "We believe in the possibility of engaged renunciation: being in the world but not of it, living a fully committed religious life that does not exclude family, work, and a powerful interest in the world. Everyday Zen’s mission is to bring the Zen attitude and spirit to the world in a variety of settings, traditional and nontraditional."

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"The slogan 'Be grateful to everyone' is about making peace with the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected. Through doing that, we also make peace with the people we dislike. More to the point, being around people we dislike is often a catalyst for making friends with ourselves. Thus, "Be grateful to everyone."

If we were to make a list of people we don't like - people we find obnoxious, threatening, or worthy of contempt - we would find out a lot about those aspects of ourselves that we can't face. If we were to come up with one word about each of the troublemakers in our lives, we would find ourselves with a list of descriptions of our own rejected qualities, which we project onto the outside world. The people who repel us unwittingly show the aspects of ourselves that we find unacceptable, which otherwise we can't see. In traditional teachings on lojong it is put another way: other people trigger the karma that we haven't worked out. They mirror us and give us the chance to befriend all of that ancient stuff that we carry around like a backpack full of boulders.

"Be grateful to everyone" is getting at a complete change of attitude. This slogan is not wishy-washy and naive. It does not mean that if you're mugged on the street you should smile knowingly and say "Oh, I should be grateful for this" before losing consciousness. This slogan actually gets at the guts of how we perfect ignorance through avoidance, not knowing we're eating poison, not knowing that we're putting another layer of protection over our heart, not seeing the whole thing.

"Be grateful to everyone" means that all situations teach you, and often it's the tough ones that teach you the best. There may be a Juan or Juanita in your life, and Juan or Juanita is the one who gets you going. They're the ones who don't go away: your mother, your husband, your wife, your lover, your child, the person that you have to work with every single day, part of the situation you can't escape. There's no way that someone else can tell you exactly what to do, because you're the only one who knows where it's torturing you, where your relationship with Juan or Juanita is getting into your guts.

When the great Buddhist teacher Atisha went to Tibet... he was told the people of Tibet were very good-natured, earthy, flexible, and open; he decided they wouldn't be irritating enough to push his buttons. So he brought along with him a mean-tempered, ornery Bengali tea boy. He felt that was the only way he could stay awake. The Tibetans like to tell the story that, when he got to Tibet, he realized that he need not have brought his tea boy: the people there were not as pleasant as he had been told.

In our own lives, the Bengali tea boys are the people who, when you let them through the front door of your house, go right down to the basement where you store the things you'd rather not deal with, pick out one of them, bring it to you, and say "Is this yours?"

~Pema Chodron

In Buddhism, there is no such thing as a "pure coincidence" - for the universe is naturally governed by the laws of cause and effect. Causality rules both the realms of physical and mental experience. Nothing happens by chance. Much of human experience is governed by karma - the law that we reap the "fruits" of the "seeds" we sow. Lest it be mistaken, karma is not a set of rules created or watched over by any judge. Just as no one is needed to ensure apples fall via the natural law of gravity, karma needs no police, even as it "polices". When we choose to be obsessed with something, the instant karmic effect is that that certain something naturally becomes the centre of our lives - be it a number or anything else. Karma does not judge, though it has natural effects deemed good or evil by us, as determined by our corresponding intentions and the attitude with which we experience these effects. Surely, obsessions are not good, since attachment brings suffering.

( More... ) Spiritual cultivation is the seizing of our present control to increasingly align ourselves with reality.

From Buddhist Channel (link to movie review of '23,' here there be spoilers).

Essentially, according to Buddhist teachings, the ethical and moral principles are governed by examining whether a certain action, whether connected to body or speech is likely to be harmful to one's self or to others and thereby avoiding any actions which are likely to be harmful. In Buddhism, there is much talk of a skilled mind. A mind that is skilful avoids actions that are likely to cause suffering or remorse.

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As may be seen from the foregoing, Buddhist ethical principles are very noble and in an ideal world their practice would lead to peace and harmony but, unfortunately, as the Buddha has taught, people are motivated by greed, hatred, and delusion -- even Buddhists.

Traditional Buddhist Prayer

The beauty of this prayer spoke to us with great directness and simplicity. May we all take its message into our hearts, so we can become clearer channels for love.

Oneness of Life and Light,
Entrusting in your Great Compassion,
May you shed the foolishness in myself,
Transforming me into a conduit of Love.
May I be a medicine for the sick and weary,
Nursing their afflictions until they are cured;
May I become food and drink,
During time of famine,
May I protect the helpless and the poor,
May I be a lamp,
For those who need your Light,
May I be a bed for those who need rest,
and guide all seekers to the Other Shore.
May all find happiness through my actions,
and let no one suffer because of me.
Whether they love or hate me,
Whether they hurt or wrong me,
May they all realize true entrusting,
Through Other Power,
and realize Supreme Nirvana.


~ Namo Amida Buddha

A Path to Happiness Through Buddhism

Overcoming Depression

Are you happy, at this moment; or are you unhappy and depressed? You must question yourself and get a response.

If you are happy, then there is nothing to worry about; but if there is pressure in your mind due to some reason, then you need to find a solution, to get rid of this pressure since we all like to be happy.

If you are looking for a way out of distress, first you must realize that the mind and the problem you are facing are two different factors.

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The first time I heard this song was in the meditation following a Kundalini Yoga class I went to. I cried the entire time and felt a profound, intense feeling of letting go of something that I didn't even know I needed to let go of.

I didn't know what it was that I was hearing, what the purpose of the song was, or what it was intended to mean, so I followed up with my yoga instructor and she told me what it was. Then I read the lyrics and went "Oh. Okay!"

These are the lyrics.

Please to enjoy this music sample.

Turn up your sound and enjoy.

Tara Brach is the founder of Insight Meditation Center of Washington DC.

Tara is one of my favorite teachers. I listen to her podcasts a lot.

+++++++++++++

The Power of Forgiveness: Living in the Garden

by Tara Brach

If we could really forgive ourselves for all the things we think are wrong with us, we would be free.

Forgiving is the spiritual practice of letting go. We can let go of all the ways we judge ourselves and resist our experience. We can release our guilt and shame about our relationships with our children, our bodies, our mistakes, our addictions. When we feel betrayed by physical illness, we can let go of our resentment toward pain. When we forgive ourselves, we reconnect with the essential goodness of our being.

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But it's a brain plug-in that we use all the time.

"Delusions are states of mind which, when they arise within our mental continuum,
leave us disturbed, confused and unhappy.

Therefore, those states of mind which delude or afflict us are called
'delusions' or 'afflictive emotions'."

~ His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Working with Delusional Emotions

"This is the radical discovery of Buddhist psychology. You don't have to resign yourself to ordinary suffering, to being always unconscious of what is really going on, helpless before not only society and space and time and others, but more importantly before your own inner drives, impulses and demands. You need not give up and allow yourself to be buffetted here and there by passions and angers. You can become conscious of what you were formerly unconscious. You can understand your drives, see where they come from, block the source, and divert the energy for your own use. You can resist all imperatives and learn to wield the underlying energies. You can reclaim those energies for your life, for your happiness and the happiness of your loved ones."

~ Robert Thurman from "Anger"

The Ten Primary and Twenty Secondary Defilements of Mind
by the Venerable Traleg Kyabgon Rinpoche
From the second in a series of five talks given in 2001 at Maitripa Contemplative Centre.

In order to understand Buddhism, we have to understand Buddhist philosophy and psychology. It is important to become familiar with certain concepts. When Buddhists talk about 'defilements of the mind,' they are referring to the primary and secondary causes. If you have read books on Buddhism, you will have heard about the five poisons (excessive desire, anger, jealousy, pride and ignorance), or the three poisons (passion, aggression and ignorance) etc. However, in Buddhism, if we are to understand how the delusions have arisen, we have to understand the primary and secondary causes and the contributing factors. If we understand the causes and conditions of defilements, we will know what we need to do to work with those causes and conditions.

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Developing Balanced Sensitivity: Practical Buddhist Exercises for Daily Life (Revised Second Edition)

The Buddhist Concept of Friendship

by Sally Talent

'Spiritual friendship is the whole of the Spiritual life'.
(Buddha).

Buddhist concept of friendship, can perhaps be seen most clearly in 'Metta' and 'Karuna'. 'Metta' or 'loving kindness' are of the highest value to all Buddists. They try to extend their 'loving-kindness' to all living beings, with no exceptions. 'Karuna' or 'Compassion' is a virtue which Buddhists continually try to cultivate. Friendship is thought to have the expectations and personal responsibilities of both 'Karuna' and 'Metta', as is taught in the 'Sacred Dhamma'.

'The Fourteen Teachings of Buddha' are a good guide to the Buddhist idea of friendship. I have written them below and will include my own interpretations with the perspective of 'Karuna' and 'Metta'

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How Friendship is Interpreted in Buddhism

By Can Tran

In Buddhism, you can be friends with anybody. However, you're supposed to choose your friends wisely. Good friends are friends that are there for you and don't give you any negative vibes. You're supposed to look at people from within instead of how they look from the outside. In terms of friendship, Buddhism teaches us not to be superficial at all. In picking friends, you're supposed to look beyond the exteriors of a person and see the person from the inside.

Friendship is one of the most valuable and priceless possessions one can have in Buddhism. In a sense, it's something you cannot put a price on or it becomes devalued. The term of friendship plays into the Buddhist concept of social welfare which is about interdependence and reciprocity. You have to be there for your friends as they would be there for you. Friendship is one thing that goes way beyond materialism. The true concept of friendship is something that transcends riches and jewels as Buddhism teaches.

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Buddhist Concept of Friendship

By Sita Arunthavanathan

Some critics have a tendency to label Buddhism as a religion with supra-mundane goals, devoid of the concept of love and friendship for living in this world. But the Tripitaka furnishes us with ample evidence to prove that the Buddha considered living in harmony and friendship without disputes an important human relationship based on love. Metta or Loving Kindness envelopes much more than mere love. Etymologically the word Metta means the nature of a friend.

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A lot of people seem to get through this world and actually make quite a comfortable life by being compassionate and open - even seemingly compassionate and open. Yet although we share the same world, we ourselves get hit constantly.

For instance, we could be sharing a room with a college mate, eating the same problematic food, sharing the same shitty house, having the same schedule and the same teachers. Our roommate manages to handle everything OK and find his or her freedom. We, on the other hand, are stuck with that memory and filled with resentment all the time. We would like to be revolutionary, to blow up the world. We could say the schoolteacher did it, that everybody hates us and they did it. But WHY do they hate us? That is a very interesting point.

Everything is based on our own uptightness. We could blame the organization; we could blame the government; we could blame the food; we could blame the highways; we could blame our own cars, our own clothes; we could blame an infinite variety of things. But it is we who are not letting go, not developing enough warmth and sympathy - which makes us problematic. So we cannot blame anybody.

This slogan applies whenever we complain about anything, even that our coffee is cold or our bathroom is dirty. It goes very far. Everything is due to our own uptightness, so to speak, which is known as ego holding, ego fixation. Since we are so uptight about ourselves, that makes us very vulnerable at the same time.

We get hit, but nobody means to hit us - we are actually inviting the bullets.

The text says "drive all blames into one". the reason you have to do that is because you have been cherishing yourself so much.

Although sometimes you might say that you don't like yourself, even then in your heart of hearts you know that you like yourself so much that you're willing to throw everybody else down the drain, down the gutter. You are really willing to do that. You are really willing to let somebody else sacrifice his life, give himself away for you. And who are you, anyway?

From Training the Mind & Cultivating Loving-Kindness by Chogyam Trungpa, copyright 1993 by Diana Mukpo.

Published by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Inc., Boston.

Somehow I picked up a new friend *hi there* and his links included Lojong Mind Training. That's where I snagged this and this is what is currently resonating for me at the moment.

The 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva:
A Summary of How an Awakening Being Behaves
by Tog-me Zong-po
(Thogs.med bzang.po, 1245-1369)

Namo Lokesvaraya

You who see that experience has no coming or going,
Yet pour your energy solely into helping beings,
My excellent teachers and Lord All Seeing,
I humbly and constantly honor with my body, speech, and mind.

The fully awake, the buddhas, source of joy and well-being,
All come from integrating the noble Way.
Because integration depends on your knowing how to practice,
I will explain the practice of all bodhisattvas.

1
Right now, you have a good boat, fully equipped and available -- hard to find.
To free others and you from the sea of samsara,
Day and night, fully alert and present,
Study, reflect, and meditate -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

2
Attraction to those close to you catches you in its currents;
Aversion to those who oppose you burns inside;
Indifference that ignores what needs to be done is a black hole.
Leave your homeland -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

3
Don't engage disturbances and reactive emotions gradually fade away;
Don't engage distractions and spiritual practice naturally grows;
Keep awareness clear and vivid and confidence in the way arises.
Rely on silence -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

4
You will separate from long-time friends and relatives;
You will leave behind the wealth you worked to build up;
The guest, your consciousness, will move from the inn, your body.
Forget the conventional concerns -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

5
With some friends, the three poisons keep growing,
Study, reflection, and meditation weaken,
And loving kindness and compassion fall away.
Give up bad friends -- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.

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Tong Len

It's also great to remember when we are in pain... "let me experience this pain so someone else does not have to."

Physical and emotional pain allows us to connect with children in the hospital, or people coming to a transitional phase in their life, or people who have experienced a loss.

Tong Len can prevent us from making the pain about us and wishing we could go back to a pain-free life. Or, even worse, looking for someone to blame for our pain and vowing revenge or a closing of our hearts toward someone because of our pain.

The fact is that you cannot live here without pain, but if you use it to connect to others (instead of protecting ourselves), that pain can make us grow compassionate.